I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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