it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
