just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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