we're making bets on your personal life
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i need some magic done to my vagina
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
