your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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