Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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