you have to choose: penises or morals?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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