Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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