if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
