the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
