But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
