The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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