just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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