I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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