I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
