i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
