I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
