i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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