she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We are two peas in an std pod
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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