There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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