Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
