i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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