she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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