Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
