so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
