the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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