spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
