U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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