Sponge bath it is.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
