After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
