I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize