C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize