Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
