quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
