I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
how drunk are you?
Several
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
