just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize