Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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