Me too!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
