My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
