Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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