If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
