you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Vodka?
Forever.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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