i may or may not be watching the land before time
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
