win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
