Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
