I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
