he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
