billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
why do cheetos always look like penises
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize