last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
