There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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