last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
