She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
