We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
