i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
