Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
