Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize