This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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